There are only a few places in the United States where adultery is still against the law, and usually only if it's open and notorious. As a species, we just don't have our heads straight about monogamy. We think it's a wonderful idea and we readily take those vows about "forsaking all others," but sooner or later a big portion of us forget to forsake. Depending on which survey you give how much credence, it may be a majority. When it happens others are tittilated, shocked, disgusted, envious, or what have you, and often, especially in the case of the offender's spouse, hurt and enraged. So we say tsk tsk it shouldn't happen, but we also acknowledge, it happens. And most of us agree, it doesn't give a jealous brute license to bash his wife's head in if he finds out she's been playing patty cake with with her golf instructor.
Just imagine this story on one of those cop TV shows. Leticia's handsome husband isn't good for much except mixing drinks and showing off his biceps, but he's nuts about his popular wife, a local socialite who is working her way to stardom in women's amateur golf circles. He finds out that some of those long hours at the country club it was the pro who was doing all the scoring while Leticia guided the shots. Enraged, he goes after her with one of her own irons. Suppose she doesn't get away, and he drives Leticia right out of this world.
How many people would say she deserved it? Or if his aim wasn't that good and she just got a couple of days in the hospital, would we all say she should apologize to him and the whole town? I'd wager that most people would say that, while she may have been wrong for screwing around, he was guilty of murder or attempted murder, and either is a serious crime. Her behavior is no excuse.
Details emerging from the matter of Tiger Woods' auto accident suggest that his pretty wife wasn't using a golf club to break him out of a wrecked SUV as she claimed; she was trying to use it to break his head. There's reason to believe this may have been a pattern. OK, so Tiger didn't want to publicize that a) he was a battered spouse or b) he couldn't keep his fly zipped.
Now it's Tiger who's bending over backward to apologize for having an affair. OK, dude, you can feel as guilty about that as you want. If you ever caught Elin playing footsie with somebody and slapped her around for it, while you were doing the same thing, I think you're a scumbag, no matter how well you do golf or any other sport. But if your biggest crime was some extracurricular sex, well, you and Elin need to have some long, serious talks with a marital therapist. Either you change, or she willingly accepts it, or you split nicely. And if you're going to have a mistress, pal, remember, no matter how great the "other woman" may be, the person you're married to comes first.
But Tiger, my friend, if Elin has made it a hobby to smack you around, OK, I know you don't want the guys laughing about this, but you can't let anyone do that. It's a crime. No one has a right to brutalize anyone else.
The fact that you're the guy doesn't mean a damn thing.
If you're bigger, stronger than she is, that doesn't mean a damn thing either.
What does a guy do in those circumstances? Same thing he'd do if he were the woman and the other person were bigger and stronger: Call the police.
There's no excuse for brutality. Certainly not gender.