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America is a sex addict.

by Paul 27. September 2009 08:38

Let's get this out of the way first: "Sex addiction" is not a scientific diagnosis of a mental disorder. If we trace it back, we'd probably find that the term was first used by one of those who think everyone belongs in a half dozen 12-step groups and that any problematic behavior is a disease. As a practical matter, however, I believe most psychologists, even those who are sticklers for correct language like myself, know that there are people whose sexual behavior, beliefs, attitudes, and values are problematic in various ways. If there's such a thing as the collective American psyche, I believe that would describe us.

Let's take a hypothetical male sexual addict. He may be such a prude that he wants bikini bathing suits banned from the beaches, but goes to strip clubs. He's often unable to perform sexually, or avoids sex altogether by pursuing work and hobbies to exhaustion. At other times he's insatiable, and pays for several encounters with prostitutes in one day. He strongly suspects that his wife may be having an affair with a man from their bridge club, and at the same time finds the idea somewhat stimulating. He has mixed feelings about sex education in grade school and thinks the textbooks are sometimes too explicit. Yet he's the one whose jokes at office parties are so off-color that they embarrass others.

Depending on the attitude of his mate, he may eventually join a swinging club and spend an inordinate portion of his time planning get-togethers with other couples.

Or he may wind up divorced, spending most of his spare time at a computer looking for increasingly exotic pornography.

Or he may become celibate, with an occasional binge of sexual adventures.

In other words, his sexual maladjustment has made his overall life to a large extent dysfunctional. I think that describes America.

To be sure, we're not the worst. In my opinion, a nation that allows the "honor killing" of a daughter because she may have been raped simply has no honor. Likewise nations where men are so insecure that they require women to be obscured from public view, or allow women to be subjected to genital mutilation. The collective psyche of those nations is gynophobic and psychopathic. We don't even come close.

But we may be the worst among the major industrialized nations, or what I think of as the most enlightened nations.

The next time I sit at the keyboard, I'll go into detail on this. I'll tell you why I think our sexual attitudes and behaviors are so paradoxical and problematic. But why wait? If there are reasons you agree, please hit the "comment" button. On the other hand, if you think America is well adjusted sexually and I simply have my head up my arse, well, please hit the "comment" button and tell me why.

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Tags:

Life in America | Mental Health and Addictions | Morality Defined | Stuff I've Learned

Comments

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